now i just know better - new single and video
i was in my own music video for the first time. it's...well, you'll see.
my first single in a long line of new music to come, Better, is out now. You can hear it here.
We (Jeremi Clive, who I co-produced this song with, and I) made a music video! I’ve never really expressed myself through this medium before, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to cast a bit of a different light on the lyrics of the song.
Any of you who have been with me for a while probably already know that I have been really curious about how to present myself as an artist after moving beyond making religious music (and religion). In our conversations about this video concept, Jeremi and I were wondering how I might take an opportunity to poke a little fun at myself, and in that, to shed some of the tendencies my past art had for serious tones to a fault. I’m not like that (overly serious) in real life, and I never have been. I think in releasing new music, some of which certainly still has to do with my inner life and spiritual journeys now, the tendency for me could be to continue presenting myself with earnest seriousness, only about new subjects. Well, I really don’t want to do that; it doesn’t feel enjoyable, and it doesn’t feel interesting to me. I like to be goofy just as much as I like to contemplate the meaning of life. So, we did this. :) I really hope you enjoy it.
And if you haven’t yet, check out Better—out now. More music coming soon.
lyrics:
I used to run when it might hurt
I used to lay there waiting for a savior
pushing it down so I couldn’t feel what needed to heal
now I just know better
I used to say yes when I meant no
I used to stay there when I wanted to go
I was an island so I could see that it was just me
now I just know better
now I just know better.
by Audrey Assad/Jeremi Clive
After following along for years, I'm still surprised/saddened at the response you get on YouTube from mourning Christian fans. Maybe I'm just too far gone on my own path away from the church to remember the feeling of "betrayal" from celebs I looked up to, but it's strange to me how hurt other people seem to be by your own self-discovery and healing.
I for one am so, so glad you've walked the difficult path to know yourself better. Thanks for the song!
Brought me joy